My name is Helen Ramaglia Payne, and I am a former foster child who aged out of foster care at age 18 with absolutely nothing.  Typically, foster children age out of care with $250.00 and wish for a successful life. Seriously, at age 18 (21 in some states), your parents, the Government of the United States of America,  will at some point come to you and say:

 

"Congratulations. You're an adult today! 

Here's $250 to get you started.

Good luck - and by the way,  don't forget to succeed."

​

I tried incredibly hard for many years to succeed, as instructed! But failure after failure left me discouraged, depressed, alone, unheard, and invisible.  

 

I kept asking myself, how am I supposed to succeed when I have no idea what success looks like? I thought many of my decisions were good decisions, but the condition of my life assured me that wasn't the case. 

​​

I spent years researching, and what I found was very disturbing. I realized that everything I had learned as a child was based on a distorted sense of normal. I finally realized that changing my predefined life trajectory would mean learning life all over again—but this time, with the assistance of one amazing therapist.  Much-needed focused therapy that isn't typically provided by foster care.  

 

So ... all I needed to do was relearn everything that defined my entire life. 

​​

​